Real, homemade custard makes my heart flitter-flutter.  Sure, it got like, the worst dessert name *ever*, but I won't hold that against it, and neither should you.  It's pure, creamy goodness cannot be sullied by its unfortunate name.

Custard is essentially a homemade vanilla pudding, using eggs and corn starch as a thickener.  It can be used in all sorts of thigh busting, fanny growing, lip smacking desserts.  Homemade custard is amazing served with fresh berries; or as the filling in chocolate eclairs; you can make it into a creamy sauce, and pour it over pound cake or gingerbread...you can bake it in a pie shell, flavor it, OR <closes eyes in reverence> you can freeze it. 

Next week, you'll find it playing a starring role in my banana pudding recipe!  It's a southern thang.
 
This is my basic, 'can't mess it up' homemade custard recipe.  You can use it anywhere vanilla pudding is called for in a recipe.  You can scale it up or down, and make it thick like pudding or thin it into a pourable sauce or even freeze it.  (I put the variation on how to do this at the bottom of the page and on the printable recipe)  The printable recipe makes a respectable 2 1/2 cups of custard.  I'm doubling that here for the banana pudding recipe.

 All you need are a few simple ingredients that you already have in your pantry and fridge.

You'll need sugar, butter, salt, milk , eggs, and vanilla extract.

Get out a nice, big saucepan...one with a thick, aluminum disk base if you have it.  It really helps to distribute the heat nicely and keeps it from scorching..  I used a 4 quart pan I think. 

Pour in....

everything but the buttah, baby.

Mix, mix, mix.

Don't worry if you see the little egg-clumpy things.  We'll take care of those later on with a strainer.

Now, about that buttah...


Chunk it up, and set it to the side. 

Next, put on some good music, and grab your whisk.  We're going to stir until it thickens up nicely.
This is not the time to check facebook, friend.  Trust me.  You want to stay right by this heavenly mixture, and watch it bubble and blurp as it transforms into this...

Now, about that buttah...

*little tear*
Now, pull out your sieve, and a bowl, in which to chill your custard.  (I'm pretty sure that's not proper English.)

Pour through the sieve, into your bowl, and cover with plastic wrap. 
Chill.
Devour.

Homemade Custard Recipe Variations

For frozen custard:
omit the cornstarch and the butter. 
Instead of milk, you'll use 1 cup of half & half (the REAL stuff...fat free half and half is some sort of awful joke), mix with 2/3 c. sugar, salt and the eggs/yolks, and heat/stir until thickened.  Pour into your ice cream freezer or a shallow pan.  Freeze until slushy.
Whip up 1 cup of whipping cream with vanilla and fold into partially frozen mixture.  Freeze.  Holy. Moley.

For custard sauce:
Just omit the corn starch and butter.

For super-duper silky custard:
Use any combination of whole milk or half and half...or you can sub some whipping cream in with regular milk to bring up the fat content.  Fat=silky. 
Until it hits my thighs.  Then it's more of a cottage cheezy texture.

Vanilla lovers custard:
Use a vanilla bean, scraped, or 2 t. vanilla paste...stir in at the last, when adding the butter.

Chocolate custard:
Stir in half cup (or more) mini chocolate chip, along with the butter, into the hot custard.

Lemon or Orange Custard:
Add zest of one lemon or orange, and 1/4 t orange or lemon oil when you stir in the butter.

Printable Homemade Custard Recipe:
and in black and white here: